He said he it, he had sex with a guy—finally. He said he had thought about it since high school and even in college but just didn’t have the nerve to act on it.

He lives his straight life, does all the things a straight guy is “supposed” to do: got a good job, got a house, got married and had kids, the American Dream. He told me he’s been married for years now, I can’t remember how long, and like so many marriages a lot of clients tell me about, his is no different, there isn’t sex any longer. He and his wife gave up on sex, “She doesn’t want it anymore,” he says. “It’s menopause,” he says. Frankly it’s an excuse in my opinion, but that’s another story. Most of my clients haven’t had sex with their wives in years and when they do it’s more about getting it over with.

These men are expected to remain 100% monogamous and some have told me their wives don’t even want them to masturbate. What’s that about?!? Men need to release, men are sexual beings, and men know what men want. Sometimes just a little connection with someone is all that’s needed. A connection with buddy.

He told me he met a guy from a hookup app and he went to his house. He said he was nervous at first but he wanted to try it. He said he started with mutual masturbation, then he tried something he always wanted to, he gave him a blowjob. He revealed, “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. It turned me on. It was a first for me,” he said and then he said it was different but in a good way.

He told me he always seen himself as straight and still does. None of that has changed. It’s not about labels or identity. It was more about the physical connection and pleasure. He said they were both there to explore and enjoy each other without any pressure. He liked it more because there wasn’t any expectation that it would develop into anything other than helping each other out, giving blow jobs and jacking each other off. No commitment, no love, no relationship, one and done.

He admitted he was nervous, wondering how it would feel—how he would feel after. He wondered if he would like it or if it would mess with how I sees himself or if it would be a huge mistake. But, he said, once things started, it was freeing. The mutual masturbation broke the ice, made things less awkward, and helped him relax.

Giving him a blowjob felt intimate but also exciting. And having him stroke me was a new sensation, but honestly, it felt natural. There wasn’t anything weird about it, just two guys sharing a moment. Emotionally, it didn’t flip my world upside down. I still like women, I still call myself straight, and that’s cool. I realized sexuality isn’t black and white—it’s more fluid and open.

I told him if he’s been thinking about trying this more just take it slow with yourself. Allow yourself to experience the feelings that come with it. Don’t fuck with your head.

When clients open up to me with this sort of thing, I say, start with mutual masturbation or hand jobs to get comfortable, be honest with yourself and allow yourself to explore something you’ve always wanted to try. If you don’t like it, just don’t do it again, that simple. And always know your boundaries. There’s no need to stress about labels or what anyone else thinks just do what feels right for you.

He ended telling me, “It was cool for me, it was something I always wanted to try and yeah, I’ll definitely be doing that again!” I say, curiosity and an open mind is a good place to be.