Sexy isn’t exclusive to any one gender. Society, and even men, can box other men into this narrow, strong, silent, tough mold, but feeling sexy is way more about confidence, expression, and owning your vibe—that’s something anyone can have.
It’s kind of messed up how male sexuality is policed and minimized socially, like men aren’t allowed to explore a softer, sensual, vulnerable side without judgment or feeling less than masculine. Meanwhile, women have way more room to claim sexiness in so many diverse ways—and then sometimes, they even claim sexual harassment if a man comments on it.
Sexy is for everyone. It’s about owning your body, desires, and style on your terms. It’s self-expression. No monopoly there.
I like to make men feel sexy and give them the space to own it. It’s powerful. Giving men that space—especially when they’re not allowed to feel desired sexually, beyond rigid norms—is rebellious in the best way. It makes me feel powerful, too. I feel empowered to make men love the way they feel. To see it in their eyes, to feel their energy, to see them stand taller.
Most guys don’t aren’t told they’re sexy, not even at home. They’re wives don’t tell them. Their girlfriends don’t tell them. Who does ? When you give space for men to own their sexiness—whether through attention, affirmation, physical connection, or permission to be sexy—what you’re doing is breaking down shame and giving them access to something healing. I’m not just talking about sex either, I’m talking about giving men dignity, embodiment and visibility. That kind of energy shifts people. And honestly, the world needs more of that.
When men are allowed to feel sexy without chasing dominance, it softens the whole dynamic of patriarchy. They’re not trying to “prove” anything or compete—they’re just being. That opens up a space where connection, not control, becomes the center.
A lot of the power-hungry posturing is rooted in insecurity and repression. But when men feel seen, wanted, and safe to express their vulnerability, their sensuality, their sexiness, the need to dominate fades. And that naturally levels the field between men and women—and even among men.
It’s not about emasculating men, that’s what women are doing right now, no, this about liberating men. Sexiness isn’t power over, it’s power within. And once men get a taste of that, they don’t need the toxic crap. That’s the kind of revolution that starts with body and presence, not slogans.
We men need to make the shift—men helping men feel sexy without it being seen as weird, weak, gay or domination. We men can start by normalizing compliments to one another. Tell your friend, a dude at the gym the guy next to you, “You smell good man, what is that?” Or, “Damn man, that shirt looks great on you—makes your chest pop.” Or I like your voice, your swagger, whatever, it doesn’t have to be sexual—just real. Straight or gay men need to hear that they’re desirable, and this can break barriers, especially when it comes from another man—that’s powerful.
In my business I have found how powerful touch is. I’m talking about non-sexual touch—hugs, shoulder rubs, a hand on the back, it makes men feel. Even sexual touch between men, when it’s safe, can open up deep confidence. Physical presence says you’re allowed to be felt. Create a safe space for this. I’ve built a space, my “shop” my “men’s spa” where guys can undress without shame, move without hiding, flirt without fear, and exist without needing to perform masculinity. I encourage talking openly about body image, mine and his, our insecurities and our erotic desires. I always ask my clients if they’re having sex, is it good sex, if not, why not. Let’s talk about that. I even ask my clients if they feel sexy, how can we make you feel sexy. When I open up honestly with my clients, it gives them men permission to open up with me without any shame. Sexiness isn’t just six-packs and hard-ons—it’s honesty, depth and his our individual expression.
I always celebrate diverse bodies and looks. Heavy guys come to me first with questions of will I be accepted. Emphatically, YES! I never shame my clients for being fat, or obese, or heavy. I tell them, we can work around that no problem. I can find a way to shave your balls. Hairy guys almost always apologize to me for being hairy, I tell them, it’s ironic I’m in the business of hair removal, but I am more attracted to hairy men. I love hairy men. We guys have been sold one “ideal” for too long; we need to hear from other men that we’re hot. It’s brotherhood, it’s male-bonding at its best. Feeling sexy should be something ritualistic and playful; it should be normalized. We men need to practice sexiness the way we practice any skill, with each other and with intention.
This is real community healing. It may be radical but when men help other men feel sexy, it unhooks shame, eases violence, and replaces our fears with connection. That’s revolutionary.