A new client worked all day driving. Exhausted, he knew he wanted a relaxing massage. He told his wife he would be home late from work. He saw my ad on Adult Friend Finder or DoubleList, I don’t remember which.

An erotic and relaxing neck, back and butt massage was exactly what he needed, 45 minutes of bliss. A male bonding experience, being naked with another man while he nurtures your body. He said he had been with a few men over the years beginning when he was in his teens.

He told me he had seen my profile many times and finally decided to reach out and book an appointment with me. I responded and assured him that I would make him feel totally relaxed, that my place is very chill, safe, private and clean. That sounds great he said.

Once he arrived I immediately felt his energy. I saw it on his face, it was clear he was feeling nervous. He was a very good looking guy, both of us had an attraction to one another. I’m always chill and calm. He needed to use the restroom and I showed him around. After driving all day he said he really needed to go. He commented he was starting to feel more comfortable.

We sat down and started talking, he said he saw my ad several times and had been curious about me and finally was ready to experience the touch of another man, in that way he said. His curiosity was overpowering. He said he was willing to allow himself the pleasure of feeling aroused and turned on by another man.

I’m all about encouraging you to be willing and open to explore. I give you a safe space to do that. We had a really great conversation about a number of things, and that’s when he asked, “Do you think this makes me gay or bi?”

I said that’s a great question. “No. This does not make you gay.” Men have been nurtured by other men forever. It’s the heavy hand of organized religion that made this ugly and wrong for so many people. It’s neither. Sexuality today is much more open and accepting. Men touching men, bonding, masturbating together is powerful. It simply feels good. I really believe all men should experience sensual touch from another man. Most of us were deprived of basic touch from our own fathers growing up. We need to learn to let go and experience something healthy and good. It creates better friendships and stronger bonds with your male buddies. It strengthens loyalty. It creates more compassion. It’s a release of tensions we may have when we are around other men.

So, again, does this make you gay or bi? Only if you’re open to having a more emotional bond with another person of the same sex. If you’re open to building a life with another man, your partner in life. If that is something you can see yourself doing then you might consider if you are gay or bi. For me, that’s where the line is. But if you’re just bonding with men, having sexual relations with men to release that urge. To allow yourself to have those sexual moments with another man, then I don’t see that as being bi or even gay. It’s just a way to let go and have a great orgasm. To shoot a load with a buddy. If you’re only interested in men for sex and friendship then no, you’re not bi or gay.

There are more married men than you may think who enjoy sex with men and then go home to their wives and kids. They live straight lives. Most people in their life probably don’t know they enjoy sex with men from time to time, and that’s okay by me. We need to get rid of stigmas that have us feeling bad for what we enjoy and for what we need.